literature

Crimson

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LionesseRampant's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

Crimson
lip stains like spilled blood
pepper the walls,
smeared by a woman
with a high-pitched
voice, grating at the ears of
any who dared listen.
It took decades to cure
the wine on her breath, but only
seconds for her to drink it
and collapse onto down feather
pillows, swollen with hopes
that will never see the
light of day.
Comments25
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NarutoFanficBooks's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

Wow! even though this is short, it was really impactful and very well written. I like how you only really piece toghether whats its about near the very end, its a good aspect to have in a short poem like this. And your explination was very vivid and original! it really gives the reader a good visual comprehension of what your writting about.
Over all you did an awsome job! and this is jsut a rough draft right? i think you shoudl write more and then post the finished wrok on DeviantART. I would love to read it XD

(claps in your direction) Good job, Good job...