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Literature Text
Crimson
lip stains like spilled blood
pepper the walls,
smeared by a woman
with a high-pitched
voice, grating at the ears of
any who dared listen.
It took decades to cure
the wine on her breath, but only
seconds for her to drink it
and collapse onto down feather
pillows, swollen with hopes
that will never see the
light of day.
lip stains like spilled blood
pepper the walls,
smeared by a woman
with a high-pitched
voice, grating at the ears of
any who dared listen.
It took decades to cure
the wine on her breath, but only
seconds for her to drink it
and collapse onto down feather
pillows, swollen with hopes
that will never see the
light of day.
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Another color poem, to practice for =SilverInkblot's contest. I think I have an entry in mind, so I'll try to make it perfect 
For #Daily-Lit-Deviations contest [link]
The revised piece is here:
Here's the form if you want to try it:
Line 1 - Your color
Lines 2, 3, 4 - things your color looks like
Lines 5, 6, 7 - things your color sounds like
Lines 8, 9, 10 - things your color tastes like
Lines 11, 12, 13 - things your color feels like
Line 14 - sum it all up.
For #Daily-Lit-Deviations contest [link]
The revised piece is here:
Calluses and SilkCrimson lip stains
like spilled blood
drip from the walls,
smeared by a woman
whose six inch stiletto
heels can still be heard
clacking down the hall.
It took decades to cure
the wine on her breath, but only
seconds for her to drink it
and collapse onto down feather
cushions, billowed by dreams
that will never see the
light of day.
His navy blue uniform
falls to the ground as he
slips the hundred dollar
bill into the strap of her bra.
Their bodies connect like
a piercing blast from the
gun at his hip, and
her skin holds the taste
of metallic silk,
pliable beneath his
rough, callused fingers;
their love a ripe apple
p
Here's the form if you want to try it:
Line 1 - Your color
Lines 2, 3, 4 - things your color looks like
Lines 5, 6, 7 - things your color sounds like
Lines 8, 9, 10 - things your color tastes like
Lines 11, 12, 13 - things your color feels like
Line 14 - sum it all up.
© 2012 - 2024 LionesseRampant
Comments25
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Overall
Vision Originality Technique ImpactWow! even though this is short, it was really impactful and very well written. I like how you only really piece toghether whats its about near the very end, its a good aspect to have in a short poem like this. And your explination was very vivid and original! it really gives the reader a good visual comprehension of what your writting about.
Over all you did an awsome job! and this is jsut a rough draft right? i think you shoudl write more and then post the finished wrok on DeviantART. I would love to read it XD
(claps in your direction) Good job, Good job...